Archives

Landing His Mark: Broner Decisions Santiago

By the time any of the first-person musings and pre-packaged on-screen interviews with Adrien Broner began rolling in from his latest training camp, there was nothing left to be shocked about. Broner had risen to fame (or ignominy, depending on your slant) on the delivery of a riffing, foul-mouthed, money-talks persona that could best be […]

Please Kill Me: A Comprehensive Review of Adrien Broner’s New Album ABC

First off, I’m fine. My family is safe and all outstanding gambling debts have been settled with the appropriate parties. I’m doing this of sound mind and my own free will. I realize I just declared myself competent to stand trial should any homicidal crime spree result from this, but it’s a price I’m willing […]

2010-2019 Unofficial Moment Of The Decade: The Butt Hump

If there’s one overarching sentiment that comprehensively sums up the 2010s it would be spite. Everyone is mad at someone, the planet has taken its rightful revenge on its inhabitants, and there’s a genuine shitposter in the White House. Why bother rooting for something when you can root against everything? And look, I get it. […]

The Professional Boxing Likeability Power Rankings

Liking stuff is hard. Even if you didn’t grow up on a steady diet of punk rock and decentralized anarchist propaganda like I did, the human brain’s capacity to enjoy things is finite. One pancake is good. Two are better. Ten is suicide.  And so it goes. The more things there are, the more opportunities […]

This Century’s Most Badass Boxing Moments

Boxing is the toughest sport. Science says so! That means if you’re doing something really badass in pugilism, you’re multiplications of badass. It’s one thing to be in the toughest sport. It’s a whole ‘nother level to be the most badass within the sport. Just last month, welterweight Shawn Porter delivered a really cool moment […]

Palooka Politicos: The 2020 Presidential Candidates If They Were Fighters

Sometimes, the forming of a more perfect union requires the separation of a rib or three. At least that’s what our politicians would have us believe. Bureaucrats, wonks, and snake-oil salesmen love nothing more than co-opting the language of boxing (“I’ll fight for you!”), but believe it or not, some pols have actually gone so […]

Prospect No More: Devin Haney Dominates Zaur Abdullaev

Achievement Unlocked: Contender Status Acquired Welp, make it a hat trick for Devin Haney in 2019. Three fights, three impressive beatdowns. After a one-sided shutout decision over outgunned Xolisani Ndongeni in January and a Knockout of the Year contender over rugged Antonio Moran in May, Haney (23-0, 15 KOs) put the finishing touches on his […]

Same As It Ever Was: Manny Pacquiao Easily Defeats Adrien Broner

One of the only assurances in this life is that there are no assurances. Plan all you want but, the universe gets its kicks reminding you who’s actually in charge. If the weatherman says 80 and sunny, prepare to be scraping ice off the windshield of your Ford Fiesta. If your friend says to meet […]

Every Circus Needs A Clown: Manny Pacquiao Vs. Broner Preview

Well, here we are. The year is 2019 and we’re somehow discussing Adrien Broner as a principle participant in a somewhat meaningful PPV fight. I shouldn’t have to do this. We shouldn’t have to do this. Coming up with a fresh narrative every time Broner decides to put down the nachos, slap on some gloves, […]

The Retired Ones, Part I: Floyd Mayweather And Wladimir Klitschko

In the course of one month, four boxers with Hall of Fame credentials that range from “unimpeachable” to “strong” have retired. Boxing being what boxing is, retirements don’t always stick. But these four — Floyd Mayweather, Wladimir Klitschko, Juan Manuel Marquez and Timothy Bradley — have a pretty solid chance of staying away from the […]

Mikey Garcia Vs Terence Crawford: Make It Happen

Yes, yes. I’m aware. Showtime, HBO, never the twain shall meet. But better to live in a wonderful fantasy world than a hopeless dystopia, right? Backing up: Mikey Garcia beat Adrien Broner Saturday night on Showtime in the junior welterweight division HBO-affiliated Terence Crawford currently rules. Broner isn’t an amazing fighter anymore, if he ever was. […]

Stop Caring About Adrien Broner

Seriously, do it. You’re free. You don’t have to live like this. Unburden yourself from the psychological debt accrued by watching potential squandered in real-time. I absolve you. Go outside. Eat an egg. Learn to do a backflip. Your time on earth is finite and valuable. In the first “A Nightmare on Elm Street” movie, […]

The Liver Punch: For The Fans

This Saturday, from a 55,000 person stadium in Brisbane, Australia, Manny Pacquiao will face basically unknown Jeff Horn in a welterweight bout. It’s not the fight that most of us expected for the Filipino. Nothing about the fight is normal. Not the opponent, not the location, and not the fact that instead of being on […]

Broner Wins The Battle Of Same First Names Against Granados, Barely

Adrien Broner promised a new A.B., but he was still the same guy as always Saturday night on Showtime: a physical talent who looks like he’ll never deliver on his promise, as he nearly lost to a less-talented grinder, Adrian Granados. At least this kind of Broner ensures we get solid action. Broner won a […]

Quantcast