Call Of The Mild

So I’m sitting here on the Oscar De La Hoya conference call and I have to tell you, it’s f**king killing me softly with boredom.  De La Hoya has the personality of a vanilla milkshake but I don’t blame him.  These things usually are tedious but unlike a Bernard Hopkins, De La Hoya comes off as a bit scripted.  Though that is not to say there are not interesting things to take notice of. – Hurray!  The the call is only 10 minutes late!  Boxing and punctuality go together like Bloods and Crips. – While the Press is muted to prevent any annoying background noise, someone on the call is breathing like he just ran the Boston Marathon.  It give the whole call a creepy dirty call vibe.  – Richard Shaffer announces that there are over 130 members of the media on this call.  As Shaffer put it, “when Oscar fights people come”.  – God d*mmit!  Oscar has already addressed the two questions I had!  Oh well good thing I have a back-up… – Sh*t!  Dan Rafael of ESPN just asked my back-up question!  I swear, on EVERY call I have been on Rafael is always first in line to ask a question.  He must dial in an hour early!  – The breathing!  The breathing!  – To keep my interest I am trying to translate the Spanish speaking reporters questions.  So far my high school level Spanish is letting me down. Ok, I think I have heard enough.  I may stay on the line for a few more minutes unless my narcolepsy kicks in. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

About Tim Starks

Tim is the founder of The Queensberry Rules and co-founder of The Transnational Boxing Rankings Board ( He lives in Washington, D.C. He has written for the Guardian, Economist, New Republic, Chicago Tribune and more.