Lennox Lewis, You Silly

My take on Lennox Lewis is this: One of the greatest heavyweights ever — woefully under-appreciated a la Larry Holmes — and one of the worst television commentators working today in any sport. As of this weekend, I’d like to add that my take now also includes: speaker of silly gibberish.

In case you missed the silliness in a series of interviews about a possible Lewis comeback, it goes a little something like this —

From the AFP: “It would have to be nearer 100 million dollars to make me say yes, but there are people out there who can get that kind of money together.” Yeah? Like who? Someone must have dosed Lewis’ tea and crumpets with LSD. Keep in mind, besides Lewis’ haul, there’d need to be a promotional budget, an opponent who would want to get paid, and the like. And then, the biggest fight in boxing history only MADE $120 million on pay-per-view, so whoever would be doing this would assuredly be taking a huge, massive loss. I don’t know any eccentric rich man who would pay that amount for any fight, let alone one featuring Lewis, because they buried Howard Hughes and his long-ass fingernails all the way back in 1976.

From the Daily Mail: “…boxing needs me. The heavyweight game is so boring now. All the characters are gone.” Maybe Lewis doesn’t remember how under-appreciated he was, but if nobody needed him before, I doubt he’s needed now at age 43. The heavyweight game IS boring, even if David Haye’s entry into its ranks has brought a whiff of life to it, but if Lewis thinks he’s one of the “characters” from the old days, then I recommend he spend a night listening to his own lifeless, colorless boxing commentary. Lord knows I’ve spent too many doing just that, and suffice it to say it doesn’t make me beg for a Lennox Lewis reality show.

Also from the AFP: “I would like to save my sport.” There’s so much wrong with this that I don’t even know where to start.

From Doghouseboxing: “Lewis also stated the both Kiltschko brothers, Vitali and Wladimir need to fight each other first before he considers a return to boxing.” Yet another impossible precondition. Apparently he said this with a laugh. HA HA HA! That’s so funny. Oh, Lennox. You’re such a character.

_69972_lennox_lewis_shannon_briggs.jpgLennox Lewis hallucinates that he has obtained a gigantic pair of scissors. For some reason, old opponent Shannon Briggs, right, is also a part of the hallucination.

About Tim Starks

Tim is the founder of The Queensberry Rules and co-founder of The Transnational Boxing Rankings Board (http://www.tbrb.org). He lives in Washington, D.C. He has written for the Guardian, Economist, New Republic, Chicago Tribune and more.