Noninto Donaire Vs. Omar Narvaez: Fifth Fight A Snorefest

The fifth fight brings Tommy “Razor” Rainone (southpaw from Long Island, 15-4 with four knockouts) to the ring to “Momma Says Knock You Out” in a welterweight fight versus Brad Jackson (from Denver, 13 wins, six losses, one draw, seven knockouts). Rainone is fighting a guy who seems ready made to be a stiff, keeping his gloves high and paraelle and not close enough to heis ears. But while momma may be telling Rainone to knock you out, the only ones getting hurt in the 1st round are molecules of air as both fighters throw feckless jabs and roundhouses that come nowhere near targest. The audience boos.

In the 2nd the designated loser connects first, with a jab. Rainone looks as if he’s chewing gum. The guy in front of me has more going on with his hair than what’s happening in the ring. If these two had milk and eggs in there with them they could beat up a jar of Miracle Whip and at least get some work done. The only thing getting broken in there is sweat. Rainone connects with a body shot and a wild right  and another body shot. The audience is now involved: It’s booing.

Now things are happening. No,  I was wrong. Rainone is tripped by Jackson. Rainone gets up, connects with a left, tries with a right. Blocked. The reporter next to me says Rainone is a good club fighter. I agree, if we were talking Club Med. Rainone lands vicious shots to Jackson’s elbow, but does connect on a nice right cross to close the round.

4th round. (Expert fight reporter that I am, I just noticed that the rounds and time are on a display above the ring. The reporter next to me thinks I’m an idiot, since I asked him something about the judges’ scores. “Ever covered a fight before?”)

Back to the fight. Rainone lands with a wild right. Sweat flies. And another. Audience is now booing enormously. Rainone connects again. Oh hell, out of desperation, the audience is now demanding something like divine intervention. The reporter to my right has just said to me, “Why are these guys fighting here? It makes no sense.”

This is, if nothing else, shaping up to be the first fight in which the blue corner actually stands a chance of winning, as Jackson is the only one landing. The announcer says “this is the 6th and final round” and the audience cheers as one. Rainone lands a huge right. Rainone wins by decision.

About Tim Starks

Tim is the founder of The Queensberry Rules and co-founder of The Transnational Boxing Rankings Board ( He lives in Washington, D.C. He has written for the Guardian, Economist, New Republic, Chicago Tribune and more.