[UPDATED] Roach, Ariza, Garcia In Pacquiao Vs. Rios Camp Scuffle: The Breakdown

Boxing isn't just a sport of punching; it's also a sport of kicking, sometimes, or mocking people's diseases, or calling someone a "fucking Mexican." The camp scuffle Tuesday between Manny Pacquiao trainer Freddie Roach, Brandon Rios trainer Robert Garcia, Rios strength and conditioning coach (and ex-Pacquiao strength and conditioning coach) Alex Ariza, as well as various other camp members, is the kind of soap opera that gets fight fans all in a tizzy. As such, there's about a 35 percent chance the whole thing was staged to sell Pacquiao-Rios Saturday on HBO pay-per-view, available now for the low, low price of…

Anyway, the above is just one of a few videos used to shed some light on the whole lot of them covering themselves in glory. Let's score the contestants! Points awarded purely on aggression.

Freddie Roach: Roach kinda initiates the whole thing with his ultra-angry demands that the Rios camp exit the hotel gym. I don't care whose time it was or wasn't, although the story seems to be that Roach wanted to get started at 11 as he expected to and the Rios camp was asked to do a few interviews in exchange for a few extra minutes beyond their alloted time. All I see is Roach calling Garcia a "piece of shit" with almost no provocation. Then, when someone (apparently Ariza) shouts at him to leave, Roach takes another escalating step with his "Make me!" talk. Everyone from the 1st grade to grown-ups in hick bars knows that's an invitation to fisticuffs. Then, when a voice that sounds like Ariza mocks Roach's Parkinson's, Roach takes some confrontational steps toward Ariza. After the two sides are separated, Roach exchanges words with some random Mexican-looking fellow I don't know, and refers to him as a "Mexican motherfucker." It is alleged that he referred to videographer Elie Seckbach as a "fucking Jew," but there is no video evidence that has yet surfaced. [UPDATE: Actually, yes some has. Approximately 2:50, h/t ‏@smmhussain, and Edwin in the comments section.] All in all, Roach is most to blame for putting people in a position for things to get physical. SCORE: 8/10 [UPDATED SCORE 9/10, FOR USING "FUCK" IN REFERENCE TO MORE THAN ONE ETHNIC GROUP]

Alex Ariza: You might know Ariza from such classics as "chasing writer Gabe Montoya around the parking lot of the Wild Card Gym but nobody punching each other" (allegedly), but here Ariza is the party that made the most solid physical contact. Ariza struck first and last, kicking Roach, apparently in his chest. CompuKick determined Ariza had a a perfect 1/1 connect ratio. His taunting of Roach both triggered Roach's "Why don't you make me" quotes and, once Ariza mocked Roach's disease, triggered Roach's confrontational steps. But Ariza didn't end there! He's got that ambition, baby, look in his eyes. Besides taunting a guy for having Parkinson's, and kicking a guy who has Parkinson's, he called Roach a "faggot" and wouldn't stop with the faux-stuttering. [UPDATED: Ariza has reportedly told writers that he was calling someone else a faggot, not Roach. h/t @realspitts @axmcc] Roach might have been the one most to blame for the escalation, but Ariza was the one who most rolled around in the ugliness of it all. SCORE: 10/10 [NO UPDATE TO SCORE; CALLING ANYONE A FAGGOT IS PRETTY AGGRESSIVE, ESPECIALLY SOMEONE YOU JUST KICKED, BUT IF HE WAS TARGETING SOMEONE ELSE WITH THE REMARK THAT MEANS HE WAS KIND OF MACHINE-GUNNING WITH HIS AGGRESSION, WHICH IS JUST AS AGGRESSIVE IN A DIFFERENT WAY]

Garcia: Who's this guy think he is, Gandhi? Or just someone with class? I scoff. Garcia apparently did nothing wrong other than stand his ground. Maybe he shouldn't have. It is also alleged by Roach that Garcia told him to "go fuck yourself," although there is no video evidence of this to date. Then, as Roach was backed away by security and his team, Garcia protested Roach's disrespect and continued to inform Roach that he had always respected him. What a piece of shit, amirite? SCORE: 1/10

"Mexican Motherfucker": I don't know the guy's name. I do know he didn't like to be called a "Mexican motherfucker" by Roach, so I just want to apologize to him for using that nom de guerre. It's in quotes! Upon being called a "Mexican motherfucker," "Mexican motherfucker" was very eager to inflict physical harm on Roach, but was capably held back by security. SCORE: 6/10

Elie Seckbach: Perhaps motivated by his allegiance to Team Garcia, or perhaps because he really was called a "fucking Jew," Seckbach took up his mighty camera and dropped some heavy verbal fire on Roach as he left the room, destroying him with such gems as "don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Somewhere in America, little Jimmy McClain, age 6, is using his underarm to make farting noises in applause. SCORE: 4/10

TQBR reserves the right to change these scores based on additional videgraphical evidence (and already has once). Perhaps some will surface in Thursday's finale of 24/7 Pacquiao/Rios, debuting at 10 p.m. ET, with re-airings at…

About Tim Starks

Tim is the founder of The Queensberry Rules and co-founder of The Transnational Boxing Rankings Board (http://www.tbrb.org). He lives in Washington, D.C. He has written for the Guardian, Economist, New Republic, Chicago Tribune and more.