Floyd Mayweather Buys Something Expensive, Tacky, Obscene

Floyd Mayweather today bought something expensive, tacky and obscene.

The cost of the item exceeded the annual salary of at least an upper middle class household. Floyd Mayweather will only use the item once. Floyd Mayweather might as well have just thrown the amount of money he spent on the item up in the air at a nightclub, strip club or Las Vegas burger joint. Floyd Mayweather also did that today.

The item was garish to the point of self-parody. The item was decorated with denotations of wealth, such as diamonds, or, in case the signaling intent of the item was unclear, an actual dollar of some kind.

Floyd Mayweather, one day a month before today, donated an amount of money to charity that was 1/10th of the value of the item he purchased today. Had he donated at least an even amount of money to that charity that he spent on the item he purchased today, two more people beyond those he helped would have received medical treatment or food or aid that might have kept them alive for longer.

Floyd Mayweather posted a picture of the item on Instagram, where it received 125,000 “likes.”

The cash exchange for the item was celebrated by Floyd Mayweather’s most devoted fans, who sublimated their own poverty — poverty aided by their purchase of Floyd Mayweather pay-per-views and TMT Promotions hats — into a Floyd Mayweather fantasy in which, somehow, they themselves are fulfilled.

People who dislike Floyd Mayweather raged at the purchase, then took $100 and spent it on a Floyd Mayweather PPV in hopes that he would be knocked unconscious for his vulgar display of riches.

This post shall remain valid until such time (and if) a retired Floyd Mayweather hawks all his expensive, tacky and obscene purchases in order to pay taxes due, or debt incurred through investment in Shots, Philthy Rich Records and J’Leon Love.

About Tim Starks

Tim is the founder of The Queensberry Rules and co-founder of The Transnational Boxing Rankings Board (http://www.tbrb.org). He lives in Washington, D.C. He has written for the Guardian, Economist, New Republic, Chicago Tribune and more.