“That song was not it…. Not even remotely…. Just keepin it real,” Tyrese once told a woman he thought was Amber Rose, the model/actress/activist/etc., but was instead Amber Tamblyn, the comedic actress who had sent him prank “Awareness Raps” with lines like “You have the right to get strangled by a bra strap/anything you sexualize with can and will get shot at with a Glock cap.”
That PBC on Fox card Saturday was not it. Just keepin’ it real.
It wasn’t as deliberately farcically bad as Tamblyn’s stunt, of course. Maybe not even that bad, all things considered. It just wasn’t it.
On a weekend when ranked fighters actually faced one another (!), all three A-side fighters were in measuring stick fights, some less challenging than others. So we’re gonna keep this pretty short.
Shawn Porter, a top welterweight, took on one of the night’s two Sebastians, Formella, who had only fought in Germany and, once, Sweden. His competition to acquire an undefeated record was thusly about what you might expect. Really, all he offered on paper was a chance to see if Porter, with his rugged style, had lost anything. In the ring, he was a competent pro who put up a game effort, and he took the kind of loss that was punishing but not so punishing that it shaved years off his career, and that might have even given him something to build off. Anyway, measuring stick, Porter proved that Porter is still Porter: a guy who throws a ton of punches, some awkwardly and some well, who swarms with a body attack and is on track to remain a nuisance to anyone above him in the division who steps into the ring with him.
Now, the other Sebastian — Fundora — had a little bit of a tougher fight… on paper. The gigantic 6’6″ junior welterweight was in against gatekeeper Nathaniel Gallimore. Gallimore isn’t just a gatekeeper in name, either: He’s the kind of gatekeeper who has genuinely stood in front of the gate and slammed down a staff Gandolf-style and said, “You shall not pass!” to Jeison Rosario a few years ago. We all have our fetishes, in the words of my colleague Brent, and one of mine has been for praying mantis-thin giants who have no business fighting on the inside or throwing a billion punches when they could easily jab from range, yet this writer had previously been unimpressed by Fundora. This time, he beat the brakes off Gallimore, after backing him off following a 1st round rush to the inside. The ref stopped said beating in the 6th. Fundora’s still far too hittable but if you thought he was contender after this (measuring stick), you wouldn’t be insane.
Middleweight Joey Spencer scored a 3rd round knockout of the card’s other Shawn, West. He was asked after the fight if he wanted to move up from six- to eight-round bouts. Yeah, look, when you’re PBC Prospect of the Year twice in a row, it’s time to move up a couple notches on the measuring stick.